![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
life update time again
10 January 2019 09:17 pmlet's get the fun part out of the way. here are my new year's resolutions:
last year sucked but i have high hopes for this year. by the end of this month i'll hopefully be back in the black on my primary bank account. i have good friends who understand my weird brain to a point where i don't have to make excuses for myself all the time and (i hope?) i'm not hurting people as badly as i was before. i have some Life Goals and they don't seem as lofty as they might have done once upon a time. i'm drawing more. i'm on medication and it's working!! and i'm motivated enough to go to work more consistently, so that i can accomplish more. i cleared the surface of my desk and got some organiser-y stuff to help me sort things out, and i'm using it sometimes as a quiet space away from screens. i'm going outside more. i'm more confident than i was.
i'm also working through commissions to figure out how much i can manage at once while still leaving time to do personal art (and maybe work on my comic???????). i've given myself permission to post non-commission art while working on commissions, AND without writing "did xyz thing between commissions" as if it's some kinda mitigating excuse. it's made me want to draw more, i think, because i'm not entertaining guilt over daring to do anything else than paid art. and it's also made me want to do commissions more than i did before. usually it was like, i'd get a commission, and barely through the sketch i'd be like "i hate this, i don't want to be drawing this" even if it was a subject i loved to draw normally i.e. furries. i think it was just the pressure i was putting on myself. it's time to have fun with them!!
i'm setting rules now, too, at least privately. if someone asks me to do something super-mega-ultra-perfectionist-detailed with 10 paragraphs of details about pose/tone/etc and constant back-and-forth over how a leg looks or whatever i'm just straight up gonna be like "look i need to just finish this and move on" because that was a huge stopping force for me before.
i'm also working on smaller canvases and higher resolution and BOY HOWDY it is so much goddamn easier than what i was doing a year ago with 600dpi and an entire huge 2000x2000 canvas.
this year can give me its best shot. i'm ready and much more stable, bitch!!!
knock on the nintendoor
- only drink on special occasions, or when out of the house with friends
- do more art
- maybe write some of the stories i've been sitting on since i was ten
last year sucked but i have high hopes for this year. by the end of this month i'll hopefully be back in the black on my primary bank account. i have good friends who understand my weird brain to a point where i don't have to make excuses for myself all the time and (i hope?) i'm not hurting people as badly as i was before. i have some Life Goals and they don't seem as lofty as they might have done once upon a time. i'm drawing more. i'm on medication and it's working!! and i'm motivated enough to go to work more consistently, so that i can accomplish more. i cleared the surface of my desk and got some organiser-y stuff to help me sort things out, and i'm using it sometimes as a quiet space away from screens. i'm going outside more. i'm more confident than i was.
i'm also working through commissions to figure out how much i can manage at once while still leaving time to do personal art (and maybe work on my comic???????). i've given myself permission to post non-commission art while working on commissions, AND without writing "did xyz thing between commissions" as if it's some kinda mitigating excuse. it's made me want to draw more, i think, because i'm not entertaining guilt over daring to do anything else than paid art. and it's also made me want to do commissions more than i did before. usually it was like, i'd get a commission, and barely through the sketch i'd be like "i hate this, i don't want to be drawing this" even if it was a subject i loved to draw normally i.e. furries. i think it was just the pressure i was putting on myself. it's time to have fun with them!!
i'm setting rules now, too, at least privately. if someone asks me to do something super-mega-ultra-perfectionist-detailed with 10 paragraphs of details about pose/tone/etc and constant back-and-forth over how a leg looks or whatever i'm just straight up gonna be like "look i need to just finish this and move on" because that was a huge stopping force for me before.
i'm also working on smaller canvases and higher resolution and BOY HOWDY it is so much goddamn easier than what i was doing a year ago with 600dpi and an entire huge 2000x2000 canvas.
this year can give me its best shot. i'm ready and much more stable, bitch!!!
knock on the nintendoor